I went to my own funeral. My mother tried to justify my death by telling herself and the other mourners that I had had no business drinking at my age. I was only 18, too young to go to frat parties, too young to be dead.I sat in the back row crying over myself, but I couldn't justify my death the way my mother had. I noticed a really cute guy get up and walk out to go to the bathroom. I thought for half a second about following him and mentally kicked myself. But then I remembered that I was. By the time I was sixteen, I had realised that boys’ bodies didn’t interest or excite me, but girls’ ones did. Whenever I was watching a TV drama or a movie, I would always be fantasising about the beautiful leading woman actress, and imagining myself in her arms for the embrace in the final scene. I made very careful and tentative overtures to a few of my friends, all on the supposed basis of curiosity (such as, ‘I wonder what it feels like from the boy’s point of view’), but only one girl. He sucked and bit my titsas I moved into him. Finally he stopped coming, and so did I , I grabbed a lengthy open mouthed kiss. "YOU are a good FUCK, Robert, you have been PRACTICING, haven't you? WHO WITH?"I looked at him directly. He was non committal. There is no right answer. I didn't let my unanswered query spoil our fun, the next session started with me on all fours and Rob licking my arsehole out, then he pulled me up onto my hands and knees,and robustly fucked me from behind. He lasted. I..."His eyes were scanning her nakedness, uncontrollably, and Linda felt them, knowing what he had to be thinking. She wanted him to be enraged at finding Karen in such a position, wanted him to run to Don and Valerie and pull them away from his girl. But it was only too apparent that he was aware of what was going on between them, and in fact that he was likely on his way to joining them all. If only he would run at them... Then I wouldn't feel what I'm feeling... Such horrible thoughts....
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